As you help grieving families prepare the funeral service for their loved one, explore their religious background with probing questions. Even if people are not particularly religious as adults, when death hits close to home, many of them grab onto the symbols of faith they remember from their childhood in church, synagogue or mosque. These symbols re-connect them with God in a profound way and provide comfort as they release their loved one to the Eternal.
Traditional religious symbols range from the Christian cross and crucifix, the Bible, praying hands, stained glass, candles, incense, bottles of holy water or oil, a dove, and the Ichthus fish symbol, to the Jewish Torah, the Star of David, prayer shawls, the Menorah, and yarmulke, to the Islam the Quran, color green and crescent with a star. These symbols can be incorporated into the service in picture form or actual objects as appropriate.
Have photos of these religious symbols handy so that your clients can browse through them as they plan the funeral service. Place the photos in a presentation notebook or on a page on your website so that they are easily accessible. Also include descriptions of these symbols and their meanings so that there can be a brief explanation of their significance during the funeral for the sake of family members and friends who are not familiar with them. This will give the mourners more substance to hold on to.
When clients have a strong faith, they will often opt to hold a religious funeral service in their place of worship. They may also take the lead in preparing the service itself, selecting the songs, etc. Their pastor, rabbi or imam will be asked to provide a sermon or to preside. Make sure that your clients consider including any favorite music of the deceased, even if it is secular.
Non-religious elements can be intertwined into a religious funeral service, but it is critical that you clarify the wishes of the family concerning this from the outset. Strongly religious clients may want to keep a worship tone to the funeral service itself and save secular symbols and memories for the post-funeral family gathering time. Mixing religious with secular may offend some family members. If there is a risk, recommend separating the two.
On the other hand, clients may want to highlight everything that was a part of their loved one’s life in the funeral service, from hobbies to things they accomplished in their life, whether religious or not. Work with your clients to integrate all of this into a funeral program that they will treasure.
