Grief is the emotional experience that occurs after a loss, usually in the form of the death of a loved one or loved ones. Although grieving is a universal experience, every individual experiences grief in their own unique way. How they grieve, what they feel, how they respond to grief, and even how long they grieve are all dependent on an individual’s own grieving process. Many people, due to the inability to handle grief or even simply to help get themselves through the grieving process, seek out grief counseling. Grief counseling is therapeutic counseling done with the grieving process in mind and is usually sought out specifically for the purpose of helping someone understand, cope and even move on from their grief. This type of counseling is also a personal process for anyone that seeks it out. Some people may benefit more from a counselor who simply lets them talk their feelings of emotion and grief out, while others may wish for a counselor who actively helps their client cope with their grief in other ways.
In order to understand how grief counseling can benefit someone, let’s look at a brief description of the main stages of grief after the death of a family member, friend or other loved one.
Denial and disbelief
The death is seen as unbelievable or an impossible event. The bereaved are shocked and stunned and unable to fully process the death. Grief counseling can assist people who are unable to move past this initial state of shock by helping them come to terms with the death in a healthy way.
Anger
The loss causes anger and frustration. The bereaved may lash out at people (such as doctors or anyone deemed to have caused the death) or at objects or even themselves. Grief counseling can benefit people in this stage of grief by letting them take out their frustration in a safe environment, or helping them to understand that their anger may be misplaced or fruitless.
Bargaining
The grieving may attempt to make bargains with God or a higher power to bring the deceased back to life. For example, “If you just bring him back, I’ll go to church every Sunday and be a better person.” People who are in this stage of grief may find that talking to a grief counselor about their regrets and about their desire to do anything to get a loved one back can ease the pain of the hopelessness of bargaining.
Depression
The death causes sorrow, sadness and regret. This stage may be experienced through intense, crippling depression or a more subtle type of sorrow or a mixture of both. The bereaved who are in this stage may benefit by seeking out counseling which focuses on grief and depression. Counselors can help those who are feeling crippled by depression overcome or at least understand their feelings.
Acceptance
The final stage of grieving is not reached by everyone. In this stage, the death is processed and fully accepted. Regret and sadness may remain, but the person is no longer in a state of grief. Bereavement counseling may not be able to help everyone reach acceptance over the loss of a loved one, but many find that counseling can help them overcome the more emotionally intense stages of grief in a safe, healthy and overall positive way.
